Drop crotched onesie (with Seagulls too)? Yes, pwease!

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(My lazy eye is totes in full force here. Observe.)

Hiding my body shape is one of my fave hobbies. I like to make it as hard as possible for people to tell if I’m a 12-year-old boy or a 24-year-old woman, yes, a woman! From drop crotched pants to dolman sleeved shirts (in a large, please!), the more baggy or drop crotchy, the better! My clothes are often so much baggier than my actual self that the boyfriend has even began to say I dress like his old middle school art teacher. To which I say, “Thank you! …You don’t know fashuuun!”

Blazer | Forever 21

Onesie | Natty Paint (Urban Outfitters)

Heels | Giuseppe Zanotti

Clutch | Forever 21 (similar here)

Bracelets | Aldo (similar here)

How to Dress When Mother Nature Is Menopausal

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Mother Nature has been quite menopausal lately. One day she is as cold as a witch’s tittie, the next she’s having hot flashes. I’m all like (while waving my hands in the air), “Whuuut the heyll, Motha’ Nature! Chill yo shit!”

Sweater | Linda Matthews New York (TJ Maxx)

Jeans | vince. (TJ Maxx) (similar here & here)

Boots | Sam Edelman “Zoe” (here & here)

Coat | Zara (here)

Collar Necklace | Man Repeller x DANNIJO (similar here, more MR x DANNIJO styles here)

Stackable Rings | Aldo

Mah Face | Denise