What Would Wittle Butters Do?: Travel Carry-On Edition


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Traveling is such an exciting experience whether you’re traveling by foot to your bathroom, by car, or by plane! Here is a compilation of items that I try to remember to pack in my carry-on when I’m traveling. To be honest, I’m lucky if I remember to pack my iPod and/or headphone and/or driver’s license and/or make-up.

Cosmetics—I’m obsessed with having 500 lip glosses on me at any given time. Lip gloss just makes people think in their little brain heads, “Wow, she got some nice lips. I sort of want to make out with them.” I like that.

Entertainment—Comedy is my main bitch. Tina Fey, Chelsea Handler, Babe Walker, etc. Them bitches are my main bitches for entertainment. I also wuuuuuv music, so I connect my little radio to my iPod and I’m a dancing machine.

Clothing—A nice Grandma-like sweater and some nice trendy, comfy flats for my smelly feet are key for traveling. Also, a pair of reflecting sunglasses make you look like a celebrity in the Detroit airport as well.

Stuff—Stuff includes my American Apparel sack, Missoni for Target sack, and Louis Vuitton sack. These “stuffs” holds my other little tiny “stuff” which makes it more convenient for me to access it during all of my moments of traveling.

Energy—La Croix (French for, “Overly expensive carbonated water”) really provides carbonated oxygen for my brain. Sometimes I don’t get enough oxygen to my wittle head. I also really like to suck down one to two or maybe three 5-Hour Energys before I suck down a Bloody Mary before I suck down a shot a Jameson before I suck down a bag of peanuts before I take a nice nap on the plane.

Communication—Y’all hear about them new iPhones?

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